


Bound For Hell

by GayGremlin



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Homophobia, M/M, Probably the shortest thing I've written, THEY JUST LOVE EACH OTHER OK, accepting nancy wheeler, angst but like also happy, i have a complicated relationship with god and sexuality and now i'm making it y'all's problem, i'm not projecting i have no idea what you're talking about, it's not specified if mike's gay or bi in this so you decide, lowkey internalized homophobia, more introspective, some homophobic language, will loves mike and mike loves will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:02:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22316002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayGremlin/pseuds/GayGremlin
Summary: Mike struggles with dealing with the anxieties that come along with being in a relationship with Will.  Will, who is another boy.  He struggles with the idea of things changing once people find out, the fear of friends and family abandoning you, and the fear that God has somehow turned his back on you.Luckily he knows that his boyfriend, Will, will always be there for him at the end of the road.
Relationships: Will Byers/Mike Wheeler, byler - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	Bound For Hell

**Author's Note:**

> This only took me like 2 hours which is like?? Really unusual for me??? So it's not as thorough as some of my other stuff but whatever. 
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy!!
> 
> Kutos and/or comments with any sort of feedback is greatly appreciated <3

Bound for Hell. That’s what everyone said they were. If they kept with their lifestyle of perversion and unholiness, there was only one place that they were destined for, there was only one place that their path would lead them to.

Yet somehow when Will said “I love you”, all of that seemed to melt away. 

If it was merely a perversion, he wouldn’t feel such a strong love, would he?

If it was merely a perversion, he wouldn’t care this much.

If it was merely a perversion, he wouldn’t feel this passionately.

If it really was just as everyone said, why didn’t he feel disgusting? He knew that he should. He should feel disgusting. He should feel disgusting because that’s what they were, weren’t they? Disgusting. Perverts, fairies, cocksuckers, flamers, faggots, you name it, that’s what they were.

Yet despite that, loving Will just felt so right.

Loving Will felt like finding a beacon of light amidst an all-encompassing shroud of darkness.

Loving Will felt warm and fuzzy, not like the pain and emptiness that others said it should be. 

Loving Will felt like butterflies fluttering around in his stomach at the mere thought of him.

He knew that loving Will, loving another boy, shouldn’t feel that way. It shouldn’t feel good. It shouldn’t make him feel joyful and happy and excited and as light as a feather. But it did.

Though there were some things that were dragged along with the love that scared him more than anything else in the world, things that made his heart drop and his stomach clench painfully. The sort of things that would cause him to cry quiet, body-wracking sobs into his pillow every night. The sort of things that feel as if they’re haunting you at every moment of the day, never letting you rest, and never letting you have even a moment of peace.

What if his parents found out?

What if the kids at school found out?

What would his parents say?

What would the church say?

What would God say?

People would say time and time again how loving of a creator God was. How he loved each and every one of His children no matter what. No matter what wrongs they may have committed, no matter the sin, no matter how far they have strayed, they would be forgiven, and they could always find refuge and salvation in Him. That's what they all said.

And yet those same people who had just been preaching about what a loving creator God is, would turn around to scream and yell and shake their fists at anyone who dared to be different from them. 

“God could never love you,” they’d say. “He doesn’t love little fairy boys like you.”

They would say this as if they knew God. They’d say these things with such confidence and authority, it was as if they thought they were His own personal spokesperson. As if they thought they truly knew what He was thinking.

It made him shudder just thinking about it. It laid a heavy layer of hopelessness on him, one that he knew could suffocate him if he let it. The feeling that even God Himself couldn’t love him. God, the one thing that you’re supposed to be able to rely on when all else fails, when all the people you know abandon you, when everything comes crumbling down around you. If God doesn’t love you, then what else is there? What else do you have?

“Will,” Mike thinks. “I have Will. Will loves me.”

And knowing that makes it better.

It’s not so hopeless if Will’s still there by his side.

Sometimes he would hear his parents discussing the news over dinner. More often than not, the topic was another young life lost to AIDS, and another fag to gripe about at the dinner table. 

“It’s just not right,” his father would say through his mouthful of chicken. “How those guys act, I mean.” 

“I agree,” his mother would respond dutifully, looking only slightly perturbed by the fact that he was talking while chewing.

“There’s plenty of folks out there sayin’ that it’s some kinda Gay Disease,” his father would continue as he swallowed grotesquely and wiped his mouth with a napkin. “I don’t buy that bullshit though. God didn’t send it down. You mark my words, it’s their perverted lifestyle givin' them this disease, that's what it is, they’re doin’ it to themselves, all that bangin’ and f-”

“Ted,” his mother would cut him off sharply, giving him a pointed look from across the table. Holly would be sitting beside her, confused like the child she still was, and trying to no avail to piece together all that her parents were saying.

Nancy would be staring down at her plate uncomfortably, nudging her food halfheartedly with her fork. She was the only one who knew the truth. She was the only one who knew that one of the very people that their father had been berating was sitting at their table at that very moment... And that he had been sitting there for 17 years. 

But their father couldn’t have known. And neither could their mother.

But what would they do if they were to ever find out?

Would they hate him?

Would they kick him out?

Would they try to fix him? Send him to one of those conversion camps?

Would they stop loving him?

What would he do if his parents stopped loving him? Who would he turn to? Your parents are supposed to be the ones who love you unconditionally, who are always there for you, and who only want the best for you. They’re the ones who have known you since the day you were born, the ones who had spent many sleepless nights with you, rubbing your back and changing your diapers. They’re the ones who are supposed to stick with you and take care of you through thick and thin. What would he do if they just stopped loving him?

“I’d go to Will,” Mike thinks. “Because Will loves me. He loves me no matter what.”

And that makes things seem less scary. 

Knowing that Will would always be there makes everything seem alright again.

They had never told their friends, but they had a feeling that they knew anyway. They always had a knowing look in their eyes whenever they saw the two of them together. They had always known that the two of them had been the closest of friends, but now… now they could tell that things were different. They weren’t dumb, and Mike knew that. 

But he was yet to decipher how they truly felt about it.

Were they disappointed?

Were they angry?

Did they care?

Were they hoping against hope that they were just mistaken, that it wasn’t true? That two of their closest friends hadn’t turned out to be a couple of fags?

He didn’t know how he could live with himself if their friends abandoned them. 

“They wouldn’t,” he thinks to himself. “We’ve all been through too much shit together.”

And yet the fear lingered.

It was fear, of course. It was all fear. It was fear that never left him, not in his waking hours, nor while he slept. It was fear that hung around him and weighed him down like a dark, heavy cloak. The fear of losing those that he loves. The fear of losing everything he had come to know. If people were to find out, nothing would ever be the same again.

“But Will loves me,” Mike thinks to himself. “And that’s enough.”

And it was. It was enough. And it always would be.


End file.
